WHO SAID "I LOVE YOU" FIRST?

In the forum I usually visit, a bunch of girls were discussing the importance of saying “I love you” in a relationship, especially for who said it first. Two girls’ comments caught my attention. Both of them have been with their BFs for a while, like a year or even longer, but neither of their BFs has said “I love you”. One girl was saying that once she “accidentally” said “I think I’m in love with you” to her BF and she regretted immediately because she felt that she had lost the game of love between her and her boyfriend. Another girl said I would never say it first. So they were encouraging each other of never say I love you first in order to win the game of love and keep the girl’s pride.

Love has become a game? Since when?

I think the Love is the most magical feeling in human being’s revolution, because it appears from nowhere. It is not as natural as family love, because there is no bound from blood; and it is not as generous as friendship love, because one person can love many friends. But the Love only belongs to 2 people: one giver one receiver.

For me, love is also simple. If you love, you do love, if you don’t love, then you don’t. Of course, responsibility is under consideration. But I also believe that if you are still willing to take responsibility to another person, you somehow still love this person, isn’t it?

I love, so I say it loud.

I said “I love you” to my BF first after we have been together for 3 months. I thought it was quite long already. My BF has the theory that human being can only know if he really love another person after they have been together for more than 2 years. He said the first 2 years the “love” is just dopamine in the brain and doesn’t mean anything except passion, but the secretion will stop after 2 years, then you will see if you really love this person from heart instead of driven by a neurotransmitter. At that time, he used to say “I like you very very much” instead of “I love you”. He said he would decide if he is going to say it after 2 years. Although English is not my mother tongue (as you can see from my writing) and we don’t usually use this significant sentence to express the feeling to the person we love in my culture, I was still somehow looking forward to hear it. Because I know what does it mean. First I waited and waited, because I was still affected my mentality that I would never say it first because I’m a girl. But eventually I gave up. What if we couldn’t even make it until 2 years? I don’t even know how things are going to be even for tomorrow. I would not only lose the chance to hear it, but also lose a chance to say it. Because I love him at that time already.

So I said it. I said it first.

That night, he was lying next to me, and quiet. Somehow I wasn’t disappointed. I already knew what could happen and his reaction was even better than what I had expected. I thought he would say “thank you”. But surprisingly, before we fell asleep, he pulled me into his arm, and said it. He said “I love you”.

Now we have been together for 2 years and we have said I love you everyday since then. I have never regretted that I was the person who said it first, though we still make fun of it and I usually pretend that I was hurt because I said it first. My BF always defends for himself. He said, “no I said it first, I had said it many time in my heart at that time.”

20:23

Friday 

26/2/2016